1 00:00:18,869 --> 00:00:19,749 Look at that. 2 00:00:19,829 --> 00:00:21,419 Doggone. I'm so sick of this. 3 00:00:21,497 --> 00:00:23,307 I don't know what to do. Look at that--another one, another one. 4 00:00:23,381 --> 00:00:26,021 300 cable channels, I got to block off 280. 5 00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,353 You know why? 6 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,137 Sex. It's every doggone where. 7 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:31,935 It's on TV, DVD, videotape. 8 00:00:32,015 --> 00:00:33,775 Even on the Internet. 9 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,489 Let me tell y'all. The other day, baby girl was on the computer, 10 00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:38,571 looking for some pictures of some pussycats. 11 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:42,197 It took me six hours to explain to her what she saw. 12 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:43,715 Now, America, I'm gonna tell you something. 13 00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,623 We got to get this doggone sex off the television 14 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,825 and put it back on the street, where it belongs. 15 00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:48,826 This is ridiculous. 16 00:00:48,907 --> 00:00:49,997 Huh. 17 00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:51,575 Another one. 18 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,290 That's a commercial. 19 00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:56,170 This... 20 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:59,382 ♪ Baby, don't you know that I love you so? ♪ 21 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,549 (whistling) 22 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,548 (door closing) 23 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,854 Hey, yo, man. 24 00:01:04,923 --> 00:01:06,813 Uh... where's the pool? 25 00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:08,483 Yo, man? 26 00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:09,562 Excuse me? 27 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,066 The pool. 28 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,399 The pool? 29 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,454 Man, forget it. I'll find it. 30 00:01:17,435 --> 00:01:19,685 ♪ Welcome to the party ♪ 31 00:01:19,771 --> 00:01:21,371 ♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪ 32 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,738 ♪ Welcome to the party ♪ 33 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,737 ♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪ 34 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,339 ♪ Party tonight ♪ 35 00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:30,373 ♪ Working hard all day now it's time to play ♪ 36 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,752 ♪ Gotta find some... ♪ 37 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,286 ♪ Gotta get away ♪ 38 00:01:34,369 --> 00:01:36,589 ♪ Only one place to go ♪ 39 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,417 ♪ Where the feelings folds so you always know ♪ 40 00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:39,548 ♪ Theres a good thing ♪ 41 00:01:39,624 --> 00:01:40,424 Baby? 42 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,260 Hmm? 43 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,264 What's all these kids here? 44 00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:45,937 Vanessa's having a pool party. 45 00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,394 Who told Vanessa she could have a pool party in my doggone house? 46 00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:52,096 I told Vanessa she could have a pool party at our house. 47 00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:53,399 Now, relax, Bernie. 48 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,020 The kids are just having fun. 49 00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:56,588 You know what? That's all right. 50 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,397 But if I see that knot-headed boy walking around here-- 51 00:01:58,476 --> 00:02:00,736 the one that was in the house-- acting like it's his... 52 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:04,411 Sweetie, just go back inside. 53 00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:08,505 See, now, that-that right there? 54 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,546 That's one of those Similac babies. 55 00:02:10,622 --> 00:02:12,042 W.B.: Man, they didn't make them 56 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,119 like that when we were young. 57 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,040 CHU: Uh-uh. 58 00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:15,417 Man, if I was 15 now... 59 00:02:15,493 --> 00:02:17,843 You'd still be peeking and not playing, 60 00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:18,923 so shut up. 61 00:02:18,997 --> 00:02:21,127 What y'all doing? 62 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,758 Yo, yo, yo, Bernie, man, look. 63 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,298 Man, these girls dressing like they grown, man. 64 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,468 Look at the one in the blue right there. 65 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,597 Where? 66 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,814 -Right there. -Mm-hmm. 67 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,063 That's Wanda. 68 00:02:31,134 --> 00:02:33,024 (laughing) Sorry, man. 69 00:02:33,094 --> 00:02:34,984 That's my bad, man. 70 00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,439 I don't envy you, man. 71 00:02:36,514 --> 00:02:37,944 My daughter's a year older than Vanessa, 72 00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,146 and I'm already chasing away the boys. 73 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,027 Yeah, man, and boys at that age 74 00:02:42,103 --> 00:02:44,613 only have one thing on they minds, dog. 75 00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:45,779 Uh-huh. 76 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:46,951 (sighs) 77 00:02:47,025 --> 00:02:48,285 Oh, cut it out, man. 78 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,949 Y'all are trying to put the cables on me, man. 79 00:02:51,029 --> 00:02:52,619 Make me paranoid. 80 00:02:52,697 --> 00:02:56,167 Besides, man, you're talking about kids. 81 00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,803 You know, I ain't worried about it. 82 00:02:58,879 --> 00:02:59,999 Wanda's out-out there. 83 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,250 She's chaperoning. 84 00:03:01,331 --> 00:03:02,711 BOTH: Mm-hmm. 85 00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:03,721 (beeping) 86 00:03:06,962 --> 00:03:08,262 What the hell is that? 87 00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:10,138 Hey, man, we're just telling you how little boys are. 88 00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:11,559 No need to get upset. 89 00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:12,723 No. 90 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:13,731 No! 91 00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:14,942 No! 92 00:03:16,521 --> 00:03:17,731 Hands off. 93 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,186 What are you doing? 94 00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,476 Man, why your pops got to be like that? 95 00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:23,489 -I'm not her pops. -He's not my pops. 96 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,025 Why don't you get in the pool and cool off? 97 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,985 I can't swim. 98 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:28,985 I don't want you to swim. 99 00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:31,457 Why don't you get in the deep end? 100 00:03:33,238 --> 00:03:36,338 Bernie, leave these kids alone. 101 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,326 Look here. I'm telling y'all both. 102 00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:40,040 I'm not going to let Vanessa bring another mouth 103 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,424 in this house for us to feed. 104 00:03:41,496 --> 00:03:43,546 What? What are you talking about? 105 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,973 I'm talking about your sister too doggone young 106 00:03:46,042 --> 00:03:48,302 to become an auntie. That's what I'm talking about. 107 00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:51,218 Aunt Wanda, can you please tell your husband 108 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,178 to leave me alone? 109 00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:55,568 He's ruining my party. 110 00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:59,055 She's a good girl. 111 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,399 Stop worrying. 112 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,227 He was holding her hand, baby. 113 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,370 Exactly, Bernie. Holding hands. 114 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,566 -How bad is that? -That's a start. 115 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,818 That young boy got hormones jumping all out of his body. 116 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:14,880 And you ain't making it no better with that outfit you got on. 117 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,785 You like my outfit, Bernie Mac? 118 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,245 Wanda, stop it. 119 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,035 You're making it real hard for me 120 00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:21,578 to do my duty... as a parent. 121 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:25,671 You let Aunt Wanda handle the duties as a parent, 122 00:04:25,749 --> 00:04:27,339 and maybe tonight, 123 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,677 we'll talk about your husbandly duties. 124 00:04:30,754 --> 00:04:33,434 Now, shoo. 125 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,576 Go on. 126 00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:40,397 What you doing? 127 00:04:40,472 --> 00:04:41,732 Oh, ah, um... noth... 128 00:04:41,806 --> 00:04:42,896 It was time-out. 129 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:43,948 You're a liar. 130 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,031 (beeping) 131 00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:47,452 I'm sick of this. 132 00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:52,366 How the hell I get back here? 133 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:00,618 Hey... what's this? 134 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,500 Huh? 135 00:05:01,576 --> 00:05:02,976 I was giving Kevin my number... 136 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,753 No, you was giving Kevin my number. 137 00:05:04,829 --> 00:05:08,009 How come you're not at the deep end? 138 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:08,927 You better hurry up. 139 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,269 (buzzing) 140 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,795 Your pager blowin' up. 141 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,313 VANESSA: (sighing) You are ruining my life! 142 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,143 Aunt Wanda? 143 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,808 Bernie Mac, out! 144 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,807 Talking about, I'm ruining your life. 145 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,309 Girl, I'm trying to save your life. 146 00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,481 Well, fine. 147 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,568 I'll tell you what. 148 00:05:26,643 --> 00:05:28,793 I ain't changing no diapers. 149 00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,037 Ought to kick you in your chest. 150 00:05:36,444 --> 00:05:37,294 Hey, where y'all... 151 00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:38,742 Where y'all going? 152 00:05:38,814 --> 00:05:40,254 Yo, man, we can catch the game somewhere else, all right? 153 00:05:40,323 --> 00:05:41,333 No, no, man. I'm cool, man. 154 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:42,708 Come on, sit down. 155 00:05:42,784 --> 00:05:44,834 Sit down. 156 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,665 Hey. 157 00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,006 What? 158 00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,511 What the...? 159 00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,723 That little knot head! Hey! 160 00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:54,814 Bernie's letting those kids drive him crazy, man. 161 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,476 Vanessa! 162 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,353 Yeah. 163 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:04,990 What y'all running for? 164 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,685 'Cause you won't leave us alone. 165 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:07,976 Alone? 166 00:06:08,059 --> 00:06:09,529 Why you want to be alone? 167 00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:11,532 Y'all must be up to something. 168 00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,154 We were just getting some soda. 169 00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:14,451 Soda? Yeah. 170 00:06:14,524 --> 00:06:16,294 I know what that means. 171 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,281 You better not be getting no "soda" in this house, boy. 172 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:19,331 What? 173 00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:20,794 Don't "what" me, boy. 174 00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:22,414 You know exactly what I mean. 175 00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:24,540 I'm not going to let you run this girl's life. 176 00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:27,627 Matter of fact, I want you out of my house. 177 00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:30,384 Your party is over! 178 00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,127 I can't stand you. 179 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:33,168 Yeah, okay. 180 00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:35,811 You get out of here. 181 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,148 You see how ungrateful she is? 182 00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:46,561 She hates me. 183 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:49,229 I'm trying to save her from making a big mistake. 184 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,649 I ain't trying to be no hard guy, America. 185 00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,238 But I'll chase baby girl 186 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,323 around this house every day if I have to 187 00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:56,698 if that's what it takes 188 00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:58,714 to keep her away from boys... hoo. 189 00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,082 I hate him. 190 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:09,039 I heard that! 191 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,934 I heard that. 192 00:07:21,925 --> 00:07:23,105 Hey, babe. 193 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,522 This is a great age, huh? 194 00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:28,807 Tell me about it. 195 00:07:28,890 --> 00:07:30,270 I got a 13-year-old at home. 196 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,400 Nothing but trouble. 197 00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:34,147 She had a pool party the other day. 198 00:07:34,229 --> 00:07:36,449 All kinds of boys walking through the house 199 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,197 hitting on her like they're grown. 200 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:39,624 Well, then, I'm the bad guy 201 00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,282 when I throw their stuff in the pool. 202 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,541 I think we ought to lock 'em up 203 00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,702 from the ages of 13 to 18 to keep them safe 204 00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,581 and then at the age of 18, unlock 'em, 205 00:07:46,658 --> 00:07:48,078 kick 'em out of the house. 206 00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:49,379 That's exactly how I feel. 207 00:07:49,461 --> 00:07:50,791 Kids need boundaries. 208 00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,422 That's why I sent my boy to Catholic school. 209 00:07:52,497 --> 00:07:54,337 Me, too. 210 00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:55,545 I'm Bernie, man. 211 00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,295 -Hi. David. -Hey, David. 212 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,427 There we go. 213 00:07:58,503 --> 00:07:59,433 Hey, sport. 214 00:07:59,504 --> 00:08:00,604 Hey. 215 00:08:00,672 --> 00:08:02,682 Dad, can I go over Jordan's house and play? 216 00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:03,887 No. I think Bernie's busy, 217 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,347 and you got homework. Come on. 218 00:08:05,426 --> 00:08:06,636 No, no, no. He can come. 219 00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,319 I mean, this is a great time 220 00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:10,356 for boys to build a lifelong friendship. 221 00:08:10,431 --> 00:08:11,521 Yeah. You're right. 222 00:08:11,599 --> 00:08:14,229 -4:00? -Fine with me. 223 00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:16,240 (doorbell rings) 224 00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,702 Nessa, get that. 225 00:08:17,772 --> 00:08:19,862 Why? None of my friends are welcome here, 226 00:08:19,941 --> 00:08:21,541 so I know it's not for me. 227 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,054 (doorbell rings) 228 00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,053 Bernie. 229 00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,344 Hey, Dave. 230 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,507 What's going on? Dave. 231 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:39,839 Byron. 232 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,219 Hey, Jordan, Byron's here. 233 00:08:42,297 --> 00:08:43,217 Bernie Mac? 234 00:08:43,298 --> 00:08:44,558 Yes. 235 00:08:44,632 --> 00:08:46,182 I can't believe Dave didn't know who you were. 236 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,569 I am your biggest fan. 237 00:08:47,644 --> 00:08:49,944 You are, like, the funniest man on the planet. 238 00:08:50,013 --> 00:08:52,363 Uh... thank you. 239 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,442 Thank you. Thank you. 240 00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:57,067 This is Phil, my very over-the-top partner. 241 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,115 Partner? 242 00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:02,485 Bernie, I was just telling Phil 243 00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,497 how much you and I have in common. 244 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,908 It's uncanny. 245 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,371 It's unnatural. 246 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,657 (laughter) 247 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:12,000 Well, I hope you have a good time, Byron. 248 00:09:12,076 --> 00:09:13,496 Give Daddy a kiss. 249 00:09:13,578 --> 00:09:15,628 Okay. 250 00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,755 Ciao, Bernie. 251 00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:18,922 Ciao. 252 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,020 Take it easy. 253 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,052 Okay. 254 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,430 Here we go. 255 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,930 All right. Today is you guys' day. 256 00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,143 Anything you want to do is fine. 257 00:09:30,219 --> 00:09:31,599 Look, I got a football. 258 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,519 I got a pair of boxing gloves. 259 00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:34,648 Hey, look here. 260 00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,194 I got toy guns. 261 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,441 We can play war. 262 00:09:37,518 --> 00:09:39,358 Y-you do play war, don't you, Byron? 263 00:09:39,437 --> 00:09:41,607 Oh, what else? 264 00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:43,699 See this video game here? 265 00:09:43,775 --> 00:09:45,265 This game here-- 266 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,041 man, you could tear a guy's head clear off! 267 00:09:48,112 --> 00:09:50,342 We're gonna have some good regular-guy fun today. 268 00:09:55,119 --> 00:09:57,459 BYRON: Make a loop. 269 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,632 The bunny goes up the hole, 270 00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:00,837 around the tree, 271 00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:03,347 and back into the hole. 272 00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:06,550 Now, pull, but not too tight. 273 00:10:06,631 --> 00:10:07,811 Like this? 274 00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,270 What the hell? Yarn?! 275 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,811 What are you guys doing? 276 00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:17,320 Byron's showing me how to make a knot. 277 00:10:17,392 --> 00:10:18,622 Why are you using yarn? 278 00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:19,903 That's for needlepoint or tying bows on girls... 279 00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:21,737 Now, give-give me this. 280 00:10:21,747 --> 00:10:23,367 We couldn't find anything else. 281 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,988 You mean, you couldn't find wire or-or fishing line, 282 00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,117 extension cord or something like that to play with? 283 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,454 -Mr. Mac? -Yes? 284 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,089 Isn't that stuff dangerous? 285 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,634 Um... yes. 286 00:10:32,707 --> 00:10:35,457 Listen, it's too nice outside for y'all to be inside 287 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,785 playing with knots. 288 00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,039 Come on. I want y'all to get up. 289 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,835 I want you to go outside and play. 290 00:10:39,914 --> 00:10:42,344 Go on. Why don't you show him some cards or something? 291 00:10:42,417 --> 00:10:43,657 Be a man. 292 00:10:43,735 --> 00:10:45,835 Bryana's having fun with her dolls. 293 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,010 Why don't you go break that up? 294 00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:50,519 The Undertaker says bring it on! 295 00:10:50,591 --> 00:10:52,401 (both grunting) 296 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,858 (laughter) 297 00:10:57,932 --> 00:10:59,772 Oh, the Three Stooges is something else. 298 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,315 I'd have killed that mother... 299 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,204 (grunting) 300 00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:07,820 Jordan. Jordan, Jordan. 301 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,700 Byron, Jordan, stop, stop. 302 00:11:09,777 --> 00:11:11,867 Break it up. What's going on here? 303 00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,366 Y'all are playing too close. 304 00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:14,618 We were just playing WWF. 305 00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:16,299 I was about to give him a pile driver. 306 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,036 There ain't gonna be no pile driver, Jordan. 307 00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:19,759 Did I do something wrong? 308 00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:24,840 No, son. 309 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,217 You didn't do nothing wrong. 310 00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:29,554 Listen... I just want y'all to have some fun. 311 00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:31,760 Good clean fun, okay? 312 00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,481 Now, here. Go to it. 313 00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:37,402 -("Y.M.C.A" By Village People plays) -I'm making too much of this. 314 00:11:37,472 --> 00:11:39,402 Maybe I'm too old-school. 315 00:11:39,474 --> 00:11:41,364 Maybe they're just children. 316 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,904 Maybe they're just boys out there having fun. 317 00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:46,568 Ain't nothing wrong with that boy. 318 00:11:46,647 --> 00:11:51,747 America... the Mac man apologizes. 319 00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:53,867 Go deep. 320 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:55,226 Oh, my Lord! Jordan! 321 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:58,583 ♪ Young man, there's no need to feel down ♪ 322 00:11:58,659 --> 00:11:59,749 That's it. Play date over. 323 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:00,921 But why? 324 00:12:00,995 --> 00:12:02,245 'Cause I said so. 325 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:03,964 But we were having fun. 326 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,064 Yeah, that was your first mistake. 327 00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,934 Byron, let's go get your stuff. 328 00:12:08,002 --> 00:12:10,342 Aw! 329 00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:11,601 "Aw." Let's go. 330 00:12:11,672 --> 00:12:13,852 America, I know exactly what you thinkin'. 331 00:12:13,925 --> 00:12:16,095 Those are two young boys out there playing 332 00:12:16,177 --> 00:12:17,937 and what could be so wrong? 333 00:12:18,012 --> 00:12:20,652 See, I'm not trying to mess with the boys' fun. 334 00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:23,153 I just don't want them to grow up too soft. 335 00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:25,896 See, Jordan, he can be anything he wants to be. 336 00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:28,238 If he wants to grow up to be a policeman, 337 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:29,784 he can be that. 338 00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:31,817 Or how about a construction worker? 339 00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:33,621 Nothing wrong with that. 340 00:12:33,694 --> 00:12:35,954 He even might want to join the navy. 341 00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:38,120 Hey, I have no problem with that. 342 00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:41,829 It does not matter if you want to be a biker, or a cowboy, 343 00:12:41,911 --> 00:12:42,961 or a Indian chief. 344 00:12:43,037 --> 00:12:45,127 I personally don't mind. 345 00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:48,926 The boy can be whatever he wants to be, right? 346 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:51,551 OTHERS: Whatever he wants to be! 347 00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:52,969 See? 348 00:12:53,047 --> 00:12:55,057 How you doing, cop? 349 00:12:57,051 --> 00:13:01,151 Uh, Chief, your wampum coming out your pouch.. 350 00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,873 L-l-let's move on. 351 00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:09,407 Hey, Bernie. 352 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,529 Hey, hey. 353 00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:11,656 Hey, buddy. 354 00:13:11,732 --> 00:13:12,742 Hi, sport. 355 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:13,871 Everything okay? 356 00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,663 Yeah. The boys are great, you know? 357 00:13:15,736 --> 00:13:16,876 Jordan has asthma 358 00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:18,035 and I can see all the activity 359 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:19,514 is kind of wearing him down. 360 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:22,801 Oh, hey, hon. 361 00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:24,167 What's going on? 362 00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:25,835 Oh, uh, Brenda, this is Bernie. 363 00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:27,173 Bernie, this is my wife. 364 00:13:27,248 --> 00:13:29,058 Your wife? 365 00:13:31,836 --> 00:13:33,676 I thought you and Phil was partners. 366 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,468 We are. 367 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,888 We're writing partners. 368 00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,426 But sometimes I think they're the married couple. 369 00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:40,650 Hey, you know what? 370 00:13:40,729 --> 00:13:41,849 I got to get back. Jordan has the... 371 00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:44,069 (coughs) Wheezes. 372 00:13:44,148 --> 00:13:46,018 Sorry. 373 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,530 See? That's why I didn't judge. 374 00:13:48,603 --> 00:13:51,033 At most, I was overly cautious. 375 00:13:51,105 --> 00:13:53,575 And there was children involved. 376 00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:56,158 Okay, I hurt Jordan's feelings. 377 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,445 I'm sorry. 378 00:13:57,528 --> 00:13:58,838 He'll get over it. 379 00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:01,053 And if I hurt y'all out there, forgive me. 380 00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:05,713 I hate him. 381 00:14:05,786 --> 00:14:06,846 I heard that! 382 00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:08,051 (wheezing) 383 00:14:08,122 --> 00:14:09,672 Take your medicine! 384 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:13,139 (wheezing louder) 385 00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:22,687 So, how we going to get him? 386 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:28,372 I don't know, but we have to choose our time just right. 387 00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:34,864 Bryana's asleep. 388 00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,281 Do you have any plans for tonight? 389 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:40,374 No, you know I ain't got no plans for tonight. 390 00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,166 Good, because I'm expecting a package. 391 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,755 Package? 392 00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:52,238 Good night, kids. 393 00:14:52,316 --> 00:14:54,136 -Good night. -Good night. 394 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:58,845 See? Respect. 395 00:14:58,923 --> 00:15:00,443 That's what I'm talking about. 396 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,704 So, you want me to steal the package. 397 00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:17,873 No, no, no; there is no package. 398 00:15:17,942 --> 00:15:19,562 That was just a cover-up 399 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,116 so they could handle their business. 400 00:15:21,195 --> 00:15:22,995 It's more like a code word. 401 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,712 Oh. They're nasty. 402 00:15:25,783 --> 00:15:29,543 This will be the perfect time for us to get him. 403 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:32,210 Yeah. Let's get him. 404 00:15:32,289 --> 00:15:35,009 Do you think there's cookies in the packages? 405 00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:37,304 I don't know, but if you help us out, 406 00:15:37,378 --> 00:15:40,388 I promise I'll get you a whole bunch of cookies. 407 00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:41,364 Yay! 408 00:15:41,432 --> 00:15:42,682 Shh. 409 00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:43,818 (softly) Yay. 410 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,675 You know, Mrs. Mac, 411 00:15:51,759 --> 00:15:53,729 I think you're trying to seduce me. 412 00:15:53,811 --> 00:15:55,071 And guess what? 413 00:15:55,146 --> 00:15:56,896 I kind of like it. 414 00:15:56,981 --> 00:15:59,201 (sexy laugh) Get over here. 415 00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:00,695 (knock at door) 416 00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:02,276 BRYANA: Uncle Bernie? 417 00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:03,491 What? 418 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,201 I'm scared. 419 00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:07,381 Scared of what? 420 00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:10,168 Um, I forgot. 421 00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,424 Well, come back when you remember. 422 00:16:12,496 --> 00:16:14,626 Okay. 423 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:17,681 (knock at door) 424 00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:19,762 Uncle Bernie? 425 00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:21,397 Baby, hold on. 426 00:16:21,472 --> 00:16:22,562 Mmm. 427 00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:23,861 Hold on. 428 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,223 (yelling) What?! 429 00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,641 (frustrated sigh) 430 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,013 You see? 431 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,108 There's no monsters down here. 432 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,409 (grunting) 433 00:16:33,484 --> 00:16:35,864 Now, look, I looked everywhere. 434 00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:37,436 Can't find no monsters. 435 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:40,744 Now, anybody else want anything? 436 00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:41,986 Okay, good, 437 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,628 'cause as of right now, 438 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,833 Uncle Bernie officially off the clock. 439 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,425 Don't call me for nothing. 440 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,166 Call me again... and see what happen to you. 441 00:16:58,643 --> 00:16:59,803 Is everything okay? 442 00:16:59,877 --> 00:17:01,097 They just crazy, man. 443 00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:02,969 How do those kids have great timing, man? 444 00:17:03,047 --> 00:17:04,007 Who cares? 445 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,934 Now it's our time. 446 00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:07,978 -You know what? -What? 447 00:17:08,052 --> 00:17:09,812 I been yearning for you, baby. 448 00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:11,147 (whispering) Now! 449 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,726 What the hell is that?! 450 00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:14,857 Hold on one second, see what I'm talking about? 451 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,324 -See? -(moans softly) 452 00:17:17,394 --> 00:17:20,034 Now, look, I done told you all for the last time 453 00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:23,816 not to disturb me, and that mean not even a knock on the door. 454 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,485 I don't want you all to get out of bed for nothing. 455 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,414 If you put one foot on the floor, 456 00:17:28,489 --> 00:17:30,579 I'm going to be angry, do you understand me? 457 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,752 What if we...? 458 00:17:31,826 --> 00:17:33,576 What if nothing! You can't do nothing! 459 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,801 I don't care if there earthquake. You just ride it. 460 00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:39,842 I should have left you all at Cabrini-Green. 461 00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:41,307 Bunch of animals. 462 00:17:45,506 --> 00:17:48,516 Like you ain't got no home training. 463 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,736 (romantic music) 464 00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,356 (thud) 465 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,863 -What's that? -That's Bernie Mac. 466 00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:04,991 No, I'm serious. 467 00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:06,327 I heard something outside. 468 00:18:06,411 --> 00:18:07,621 It could be a stray cat, right? 469 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:08,695 Meow. 470 00:18:08,779 --> 00:18:11,539 See? See? 471 00:18:11,615 --> 00:18:14,215 (both moaning provocatively) 472 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,130 Bernie? Bernie, look. 473 00:18:18,205 --> 00:18:19,505 What, what, what, what? 474 00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:20,382 I told you 475 00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:22,047 there's someone in the yard. 476 00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:23,226 Who out there?! 477 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,022 Hold on just a sec... hold on, now. 478 00:18:25,096 --> 00:18:27,226 You let me come out there. 479 00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:30,560 You picked the wrong house. 480 00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:32,064 Wrong house. 481 00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:34,346 Why you pick the wrong house? 482 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:36,610 You picked the wrong house! 483 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,032 Yes, sir! 484 00:18:38,109 --> 00:18:39,899 Now, I'm going to ask you one more time-- 485 00:18:39,977 --> 00:18:40,787 Who out there?! 486 00:18:40,862 --> 00:18:42,342 BRYANA: It's a monster! 487 00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:45,407 See? See? I knew it was you kids. 488 00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,032 I told you not to get out of bed, didn't I? 489 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,830 Y'all really in trouble now. 490 00:18:50,905 --> 00:18:53,255 Oh it's on now. I don't know who y'all think y'all playing with. 491 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,572 Like I ain't never been a kid. 492 00:18:54,642 --> 00:18:56,252 I was the worst kid on the block, boy. 493 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,141 When I was... yeah, I saw you! 494 00:18:58,212 --> 00:19:00,422 I see you! Ha-ha... ow! 495 00:19:00,497 --> 00:19:03,047 Whoa... I'm okay. 496 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,565 You better hope my leg is broke. 497 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,853 I swear, for... Lord, whatever on top of me... Wanda. 498 00:19:07,922 --> 00:19:09,022 Wanda. 499 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,279 Hey. 500 00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,243 Okay, I understand 501 00:19:16,314 --> 00:19:18,524 that you were angry with your Uncle Bernie, 502 00:19:18,599 --> 00:19:21,189 but did you even consider your Aunt Wanda's feelings? 503 00:19:21,268 --> 00:19:22,528 VANESSA: Sorry, Aunt Wanda. 504 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:26,113 You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. 505 00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:27,870 Yeah, you were collateral damage. 506 00:19:27,942 --> 00:19:30,622 No, no, you all was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 507 00:19:30,694 --> 00:19:32,454 I told y'all not to get out of bed, 508 00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:35,159 and y'all chose to disrespect our privacy. 509 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,251 You didn't respect ours. 510 00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:37,565 Yeah! 511 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,303 You little kids ain't got no doggone privacy. 512 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,088 Bernie, stop it. 513 00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:43,804 Vanessa? 514 00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:48,264 He embarrassed me in front of all my friends. 515 00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:50,077 Jordan? 516 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,306 I feel like Byron's mad at me 'cause he had to go home early. 517 00:19:52,383 --> 00:19:54,393 Bernie, say you're sorry. 518 00:19:54,468 --> 00:19:55,308 I'm not saying... 519 00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:59,096 Bernie, say you're sorry. 520 00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:00,651 I'm sorry. 521 00:20:00,724 --> 00:20:01,984 Kids, 522 00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:03,329 say "That's okay, Uncle Bernie." 523 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:06,532 KIDS: That's okay, Uncle Bernie. 524 00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:07,735 Okay. 525 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,615 Great. We're all one big happy family. 526 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,496 You go to bed. You three stay. 527 00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:17,867 (mumbling) ...gon' tell me I'm damn sorry. 528 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,250 I ain't did nothing. 529 00:20:19,326 --> 00:20:22,206 Now, your Uncle Bernie has shown you 530 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,508 that your feelings are important, 531 00:20:24,581 --> 00:20:27,511 and he and I need our time alone, you understand? 532 00:20:27,584 --> 00:20:30,014 -Yes, ma'am. -Yes, ma'am. 533 00:20:30,087 --> 00:20:31,617 Good, 534 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,354 because the next person that comes into your room 535 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:35,519 will be me, 536 00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:38,851 and we don't want that, do we? 537 00:20:38,929 --> 00:20:40,029 -No, Aunt. -No. 538 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,726 Good. 539 00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,187 Good night. 540 00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:45,077 And I'll take these. 541 00:20:46,603 --> 00:20:49,413 ♪ And give me that tenderness ♪ 542 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:53,741 ♪ I love so much ♪ 543 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,579 ♪ But never get enough ♪ 544 00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:00,536 ♪ Gimme that sexual healing ♪ 545 00:21:00,617 --> 00:21:03,337 WANDA: Baby, let's go. 546 00:21:03,412 --> 00:21:04,972 Baby? 547 00:21:05,047 --> 00:21:07,847 Bernie? 548 00:21:07,925 --> 00:21:08,865 (sighing) 549 00:21:08,943 --> 00:21:11,773 ♪ Talking about you and me ♪ 550 00:21:17,226 --> 00:21:19,736 ♪ We don't need nobody else ♪ 551 00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,357 We'll pick up on this tomorrow night. 552 00:21:24,433 --> 00:21:26,193 Oh, wait, I have a meeting. 553 00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:27,988 Okay, some other time. 554 00:21:28,062 --> 00:21:31,992 ♪♪ 555 00:21:32,066 --> 00:21:34,736 (fiendish cackling) 556 00:21:34,818 --> 00:21:36,748 ♪ It should be now ♪ 557 00:21:39,406 --> 00:21:41,326 Let me be straight. 558 00:21:41,342 --> 00:21:43,332 This ain't about Jordan being gay. 559 00:21:43,410 --> 00:21:46,090 I don't care if he play with a little boy or a little girl. 560 00:21:46,163 --> 00:21:49,383 I don't want him to be exposed to sex at his age. 561 00:21:49,458 --> 00:21:52,138 If you like, I'll put him in a bubble. 562 00:21:52,219 --> 00:21:55,179 Captioned by VISUAL DATA 563 00:21:55,255 --> 00:21:57,005 You ain't gon' tell... 564 00:21:57,091 --> 00:21:59,681 Don't tell me how to raise my nephew. 565 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,650 If I want him to play with whoever I want him to play with 566 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:07,250 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0